This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
