My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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