I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
