It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
