This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
