It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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