I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
