My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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