who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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