I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
