I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
