You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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