If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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