I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
