Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
