do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
