Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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