She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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