You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
