hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Jerry, you need to find god
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
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