would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
