put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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