what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
