Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
