I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
