At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
This beer is not sobering me up at all
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
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