I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
