No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
