getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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