ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
