Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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