Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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