I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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