white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
well you can't waste a boner
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
