a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
