I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
