When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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