All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
