need another drink. this is the easiest way
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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