I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
