she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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