I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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