Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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