Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
