I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
