did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
