all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
