Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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