he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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