i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
