D3 body, D1 cock
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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