She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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